Leading by Example: A 'Smart Family's' Story



Zarek Valentin, 4th overall pick in 2011 MLS draft


It's no accident that Julian and Zarek Valentin have had much success so young in life. Each humble, yet confident, are quick to acknowledge those around them who help guide their journeys and encourage their dreams. It is pretty clear that 'smart guys' are a product of 'smart parents', 'smart coaches', 'smart friends', and 'smart families'.  We at 'Smart Guy' are inspired by the story of this 'smart family' and hope that you will be too...

Part I: Zarek Valentin,

 "the baby brother"

It's easy to forget when you are speaking to Zarek that he is only nineteen years old.  His list of accomplishments and accolades, his insight into goal setting and acquisition, his humility; all lore you into thinking you are speaking to a man twice his age.  But the reality is, Zarek is a 19 year old who was recently a first round draft pick for the MLS. A few months earlier he led his college team, the University of Akron, to the NCAA championship game where they clenched the title, the first in the schools history in any sport.  He has played on the US National Team for U-20, U-18, U-17 and U-15.  Zarek made the decision to leave college after his sophomore year to enter the draft after fulfilling a promise to his coach not to leave college to go pro until he had won a national championship. Done. But his things to do list is far from complete and Zarek has a solid plan for continuing his success, starting with being a good teammate to his Chivas USA team this season...

In Zarek's words:

"My goals and habits were embedded in me from such a young age.  My brother Julian set an example for me.  He is five years older than me, but wasn't mean to me and let me tag along and supported me.  We had the same soccer coach so I would show up at the big kids practice with Julian and they would let me participate.  I struggled a lot, being so much younger, but I learned a lot too.  Julian played soccer seven days a week, and I wanted to do what he did.  I wanted to get out there and be like my brothers so I practice extra hours, I would come home from practice and practice. 

I learned early that playing at a higher level means that you have to put in extra hours.  My brother always said that you have to sacrifice things to get to the next level and my mother often reminded me that the best things for you are often the hardest things to do.  Their constant advise and guidance made it okay for me to miss out on some of the typical childhood activities that were going on around me. 

In high school I was surrounded by different things, opportunities to go astray, exposure to drugs and alcohol but I knew that I had a lot going for me and I didn’t want to jeopardize it. At that point I was already in the public eye because of my accomplishments on the field and my mother often reminded me that I had a lot to loose.  'There are eyes on you because people know who you are.  You are representing a lot, don't forget that.' My friends would be out partying and I would be at soccer practice or home getting ready for a game.  But I was blessed to have friends who believed in my goals and my vision for my future.  My friends looked out for me, protecting me, and became invested in what I had to loose.  They steered me away from activities and people, parties, things they felt would jeopardize my future.  I realized that surrounding myself with guys who had the same vision as me, made good decision making a lot easier. 

Some of the most important advise I ever got growing up was to 'keep your highs low and your lows high'.  Meaning, don’t let a good day build you up to get a big head, and when you have a bad day don’t let it bring you down and make you play worse.  Ironically I was given that exact same advise this week at training camp.  I admit that I am hard on myself, and I need to learn not to let failure crush me and keep me from being level-headed.

I’ve had a different childhood than most, I was away from home a lot.  I was gone for two years in high school (participating in an intensive soccer program in Florida for promising athletes) , then home for a year and then off to college.  The academy in Florida was very strict-- curfews, mandatory meals-- it had lots of structure and it was all about sports.  That discipline helped me be prepared for each of the next steps; college and now moving to CA and going pro. 

Coming out of college to go pro was a big decision.  My brother Julian graduated from college, he declined  this exact same opportunity in order to finish school.  I promised my coach we would win a national championship before I left to go pro.  We won the national championship so I met that goal.  But know that, in leaving college, I have not forgotten my education.  I haven’t figured out everything yet but I know that I need a plan outside of soccer that includes education.  Graduating from college is something that is very important to me and I will finish. 

Now I am in the LA area playing for Chivas USA.  Fortunately, I have people out here that I know, guys I met through the national teams, college friends.  I’m already trying to figure out how to make good choices, particularly when it comes to money.  Money is my biggest transition issue right now but I know that if I think ahead I can save up money for my future.  My family has encouraged me to invest my money well and I am setting up the right support team to be able to do that successfully.

My advise for being a 'Smart Guy': you’ve got to find something you love and do it with a smile on your face.  I wanted to be a pro soccer player since I was little and was willing to make sacrifices so that nothing could stop me.  Understand that you will go through hard times but know that things will work themselves out for the best.  My mother always said, 'hard work pays off'.  She's right!"

A 'Smart Guy' from a 'Smart Family',

Zarek



Zarek at University of Akron



The Guts to be a Man: David's Story



David is from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which was one of the most segregated cities in the United States when he was a child. He lived in an all black neighborhood plagued by poor schools and poverty.  In 1982 David's parents enrolled him in the "220 Program" one of the first busing programs in the area, a program that would take him from the comfort of the only neighborhood he had ever know out to the 'suburbs' where his mom thought a better education would give him the start he needed to succeed.  Read on to learn how David took the chance his mother gave him and translated it into professional and personal success...

I came from inner city Milwaukee, a single parent home with one brother and sister, no car. From jump you are behind the eight ball because you're not only a African American kid, but you are economically low class, you have very little money and your schools aren't very good.  All of my friends were going to the local school, but my mom made the decision to send me to the suburbs for school.  I was the only black kid for many years, and that was hard for me, but slowly it started to change and more black students started attending the school.  I eventually learned that it was the best thing that could've happened to me when I learned the lesson that ultimately you are a by product of your environment and as a child, your school is one of the biggest, most influential environments in your world. 

In retrospect, it was an issue of race as much as economics.  Unemployment was not an issue in my school community and my peers had parents who were college graduates and siblings who were taking the SAT's when we were in junior high.  They were exposed to different things and had more opportunities than the kids in my neighborhood. I honestly believe that if that same type of opportunity existed in the inner city, you'd see different results. I was exposed to a plethora of good examples of being responsible and being a successful adult.  In the community I lived in there were good role models, but unfortunately, there were an overwhelming number of negative examples, in fact, the negative examples could be found on every street corner.  I have friends to this day from both of the worlds that I lived in as a child, but they all had the same vision, they all got caught up in good things, and they all exhibited positive behaviors.

Another contributor to my success was athletes.  I was involved in athletics from first grade all the way to the professional level.  I was an athlete every day of my life and the threat of not being able to compete because I made a bad choice was a big part of my decision making.  I had practice every day after school and by the time I got home and finished my homework they day was done.  Very little time to get into trouble and trouble never seemed as attractive as competing and winning.  And while athletics is certainly not the end all, be all, athletics can be the vehicle for a child with no other way to get to college, to be able to go. 

Today, I work in corporate America as the Creative Director for ESPN.com.  Walking into the ABC Building in New York City is a long way from inner city Milwaukee.   In corporate America, I know I have to be better than than my coworkers next to me. I knew that as a child, and it continues to be something that drives me today.  I surround myself with forward thinkers and creative learners. I want to lead by example so that the young people around me see what a smart guy does.  But for those who don't get to see me, I want them to know what I believe being a 'Smart Guy' is all about.  Being a 'Smart Guy' is having the ability to have self-confidence in your decisions--to have the ability to zig when everybody else is zagging, and to have the guts and the wherewithal to do that at age twelve, thirteen and fourteen.  I want them to know, that I know, that it takes guts as a boy, trying to be a man, to make the right choice.  But it is easier to do if you can surround yourself with other 'Smart Guys' who are also making the right choice. I am proud to be a 'Smart Guy' and to have surrounded myself with other smart guys and girls. 

A Creative 'Smart Guy',
David

David Marshall Jr. is a Creative Director for ESPN.com and lives in Brookyln, NY with his beautiful wife and 8 year old daughter.  David has also worked at the Washington Post and graduated from University of Wisconsin Milwaukee where his team actually played against and beat  Zach's college team.  He spent four years playing professional soccer before transitioning into the field of design.  he credits a creative mind and the imagination to create something that wasn't there before as a cornerstone of his success.  You can see a snapshot of David's portfolio at http://www.pixelflexmedia.com/

Choosing Success: The Students at Buehrle Decide to be 'Smart Guys'

On January 14th the 'Smart Guy' Movement led its first workshop, facilitated by Zach Thornton and Nicole Sanders, MSW.  Buehrle Alternative School (run by Camelot Schools)  is home to an incredible group of young people who transferred from traditional education programs in the Lancaster, PA area to find their paths to success.  The students were engaged and interested and had lots of questions about Zach's success and his failures.  "How you handle failure is a choice too.  I didn't make the Olympic team, was designated an alternate in '02 but I didn't sulk or complain.  I congratulated those who made it and cheered for them all the way.  How you handle failure also shows your character and reflects a decision to be a good person."
The students all made the pledge to be a 'Smart Guy' and each wrote something they could do, a choice they could make, that would help them be successful moving forward.  One student made the commitment to, "be the first one to finish high school in my family.." another student promised to "show his brother and sister a better life" and yet another vowed to "come to school everyday in order to be a 'Smart Guy'". 



Many participants received gear and equipment from Puma Football in recognition of their pledges and they all received bookmarks with 'Smart Guy' information and inspiration.  Camelot Schools Vice President Milton Alexander said, "...the event was a great learning experience for all of our students and very engaging for students and teachers!"  The event was sponsored by Puma Football and 5001 Flavors, companies inspired by the mission of 'Smart Guy' and its commitment to promoting academic success and good decision making.

'Smart Guy' participants who are leaders and role models at Buehrle Alternative School

 
Stay Smart,
The 'Smart Guy' Team

If you are interested in your school, team or youth group becoming a part of the 'Smart Guy' Movement, contact Nicole Sanders, MSW at

sandersconsulting5@yahoo.com



'Smart Guy' Workshop Launch

Join the movement...
I am excited to present our first 'Smart Guy' workshop for young people this week, January 12th, in Lancaster, PA. (click here for more information) I am working with my friend JT Dorsey from the JT Dorsey Foundation and 'Smart Guy' workshop co-developer Nicole Sanders of Sanders Consulting LLC.

This year I will be launching my company which will focus on: youth development through sports, education and health. I knew that I needed to give back and help others, because to whom much is given, much is expected. Stay tuned for projects, appearances, workshops and exciting collaborations coming up this year.


A special thanks to Puma Football and 5001 Flavors for coming on board as sponsors of this first 'Smart Guy' workshop. I am starting a movement, who wants to join me and celebrate the smart guys and girls in our world?

Zach
A Smart Guy

Taking Care of My Health: Becoming an All Pro Science Athlete

I'm excited about my new involvement in Tony Gonzalez's company, All Pro Science. I know that it is important for me to take care of my health and keep my body strong in order to thrive at the professional level. Eating healthy foods, well balanced meals and utilizing vitamins and natural supplements help me retain my edge. What are you doing to take care of your health?!

Click to read more... Zach Thornton of Chivas USA joins Tony Gonzalez as an APS athlete

Zach

Behind Every Smart Man...

...A Tribute to My 'Moms'

I was raised by mom, a woman who put herself through college while raising four children. Growing up I realized that to get ahead you had to use your head. I knew that I wanted to be somebody that made a difference, I didn't know how or where I would make a difference, but I knew I had to expand my exposure to the world to figure it out.

I always knew that I wanted to play sports at the next level and often dreamed of what the success would feel like. I immersed myself in sports and became extremely passionate about soccer. Soccer opened up a new environment outside of my neighborhood, a neighborhood where cool was hanging on the corner. Somewhere along this journey I realized the importance of the lessons mom was instilling in me. She would tell me that I didn't have to settle that I could be and do whatever I wanted. She told me I needed to pay attention to my surroundings, that I needed to do the right thing even when no one was looking. She also told me that I had choices, that I needed to make education decisions about the directions I would choose and that I was a role model to my younger brothers and sisters.

My mom was an educator for 35 years and recognized the power of education, so she pushed me to maximize my potential in the classroom. I knew that if I didn't pass my classes that I would not have any chance to experience sports at the collegiate level. It wasn't until my college days that I fully realized that truly being smart was having a well-rounded education that would give me great opportunity to taste success beyond soccer and beyond college. I realized I was smarter than I thought and I also realized that being armed with a degree was not enough, I had to blend everything that I experienced into creating the guy that I wanted to be. Being smart included my mother's wisdom, my college education, my street smarts and my street credibility. I knew I did not know it all, but the multi-faceted education I had provided me with the confidence that I could learn anything, that my future would be full of new learning experiences, and that I would accomplish good things.

So here is what I know to be true: being smart is the confidence to dream big and then take the right steps to make those dreams happen. I am proud that I will pass on my knowledge to not only my own children, but the children I come in contact with in my community and my job, in hopes that as many children as possible will raise the bar and have 'a dream'.


Another Smart Fellow,
Smitty



Rob is a father, husband and community leader and advocate. He currently serves as the Philadelphia Union's Vice President of Soccer Development in Chester, PA. He has previously held positions as a coach and administrator for FC DELCO, one of the premiere soccer clubs in the nation, and as an executive for NIKE.

Smart Guy