Perspective, Balance & Strength: Julian's Story...



Julian & his baby sister



When presented with the accolades that his baby brother Zarek heaps on him in helping him reach his current summit as a 1st round draft pick in the MLS, Julian is quick to redirect the conversation to Zarek's accomplishments.  His pride in his brother is evident, and he seems generally surprised at the strength of his impact on Zarek's life.  Not surprising from a young man whose introspectiveness is so intense, its tangible.  Not surprising from a young man who has recently decided, after a lifetime of work to gain entrance into the elite world of professional sports that, "despite his great success, he does not have the talent to be the player he aspired to be and that his greatest gifts and talents would be better utilize in another arena."  Julian is owning that realization and packing up and moving to Colorado to start the next phase of his life; challenging himself to put his talents and skills to a new test and setting high goals and pristine standards that I have no doubt he will obtain. We at 'Smart Guy' are inspired by the story of this 'smart family' and hope that you will be too...

Part II: Julian Valentin,

 "the heart of the team"

For the most part, Zarek and I have mostly walked the same path. We both grew up playing under the same coach, and we both played on National Teams and got to travel and have great experiences abroad.  We both played at the residency program in Florida and both went away to college afterwards. Soccer has been a great vehicle for me to experience life, to provide me with experiences that have shaped me and given me a wider view of what is important in life.  

My goal growing up, even while just playing in the backyard, was to become a professional soccer player. Millions of kids in the world have that goal, but just a few get to experience it.  As I got older, even though my goal remained steadfast, I recognized that the life span of the pro soccer player is not very long. Guys like Zach Thornton, guys with such an extensive professional career, are very rare.  I realized in college that you had to have something to do after soccer, that I needed a backup plan.  

I’ve always had a good support system around me to give me perspective on what’s important.  My parents, my stepfather, my coaches, my family and more recently, my wife and agent have provided me with incredible support.  My mother has always written at the end of every card or email, “I'm your number one fan, mom xoxo’.  And although I’m not playing anymore I know that she is still going to be my number one fan and that she loves us and is proud of us no matter what we are doing.  My entire support system has added to my view on the world, on education, on athletics.  My support system helped me to learn that nothing we do is by ourselves.  They instilled in me the importance for me not to just be one dimensional, that I shouldn't want to be defined just by being an athlete. 

Growing up I was always one of the top players, a player that a lot of people depended on. My team won a National Championship when I was at Wake Forrest and I was drafted into the MLS just like I had always dreamed. Yet, in the pro ranks everyone is good and it was difficult to make the adjustment. I struggled for the last few years.  I have always held myself to a high standard and my goal, even in the backyard as a child, was to be a top of the line, marquee player in the MLS. I am proud of myself that I was mature enough and realistic enough to admit that maybe I’m never going to be the player that I always wanted to be.  But know that I’m okay with making this move away from soccer, because I’ve worked so hard.  It has defined me as a player, my work ethic.  I'm not giving up or quitting, I have reached my pinnacle of talent and I’ve realized that there are players who are simply better soccer players.  I have embraced that a large part of what has made me successful on the field are my intangible qualities.  Obviously I have some physical talent, but I've realized that hard work, tenacity, work ethic, and intelligence have all helped me on my journey to a great degree. Those were all great skills in soccer, but those skills will take me even further in the next phase of life. 

A lot of anyone's talents are innate, in you naturally.  But you can add to them and develop them to become the strongest person you can be. Leadership is one of my strongest traits. I know that I have natural leadership abilities, but I’ve also developed those skills with trainings and conferences.  If you recognize your talents you can work towards fine tuning them and using them for maximum impact.

Soccer is the only sport I ever played, but I love all sports and follow all sports.   From a young age I've wanted to be a writer, a journalist.  I was a blogger for my teams as a teenager.  This new position as the  Assistant Editor of Advertising, Marketing and Publications for the Colorodo Rockies is my dream job.  The Rockies publish a monthly magazine and most of the work is done in house by four people, one of which will now include me.  A key component of this position is being the head of social media. I will be in charge of creating ways to connect fans and the organization.  I think it’s a great job for me and encompasses a lot of my talents and skills.  I never expected to walk away from soccer at age 24.  Yet playing professional sports is a nomadic lifestyle and the opportunity for stability and a chance to put down roots called to me.  Soccer in the US is not at a point where you can financially support yourself without being at the top level and being one of the top players.  I admit, I struggled in this decision making process, but know that my decision to move on is best for me and my family long term.  Obviously becoming a family man has played a part in my decision to change careers.  Coming from such a strong family, I knew I wanted to be a family man and that the nomadic lifestyle is hard on a family.  Throughout this process of reflection and decision making my wife was always there to listen, to be my calming force.  What an awesome person she was in the process; as I was questioning if I was going to be able to achieve the goals I'd had since I was a little boy, she was the perfect balance of support and comfort but still allowing me to take ownership of my conclusions and choices. 

With my little sister I talk alot about being balanced. My mom has done a fantastic job of exposing her to so many different things, she is a well-rounded young woman.  Despite Zarek and I's professional soccer success, she knows that an even smaller percentage of woman have the opportunity for professional success in sports.  But it’s so important for her to be an athlete because of the lessons learned-- time management, organization, leadership—wheither you make it professionally or not you will have learned so much being an athlete. 

What do I think makes somebody a smart guy?  I think having a well rounded approach to life, and realizing that you need to be involved in a lot of different things. If you are only involved in one thing you become a one dimensional person. For me, being a smart guy is also about making good choices. Staying away from things that can bring you down and knock you off your track.   Everyone needs a life of balance, to stay focused, and avoiding pitfalls. Leave your comfort zone to expand yourself, even if there are naysayers. Don't worry about what other people say, there will always be people there to support you if you are doing the right thing.

A Thoughtful Smart Guy,

Julian

*Julian is relocating to Colorado and has graciously agreed to check in from time to time and blog updates about his transition!  Stay tuned for part III of the series: A Mother's Story...